7 months ago
This isn’t a feel-bad-for-me-because-I’m-so-busy post, but let me give you a snapshot of my last four days.
3p- : boston mfa for art history
-1:30p: boston mfa for art history
10:30p- : woodshop project
1230a: woodshop project
1030a-11a: wooshop project
1230p-130p: self-portrait for photo
1030p- : woodshop
- 2a: woodshop
2a-3a: self-portrait for photo
910a-12p: darkroom class
12p-145p: make contact sheets
110p-2p: art history (late to class)
6p-8p: cooking class
Literally had no room for free time and this was probably the most stressful 4 days I’ve had this school year. I felt like every project I had been working on was falling apart, and I was giving up. My projects were due Monday and Tuesday, and I was a zombie trying to get everything accomplished.
In addition, we have eight prints due for photo next Monday (this takes about 9 hours), and someone had left the developer open in the darkroom which caused a leak, and my teacher was angry. We spent the first hour of the class on Monday cleaning the darkroom and he said no one was allowed in unless work-study is there. My schedule was opposite of work-study’s and I was afraid none of my prints were going to get done. I told him. He told me that those were the consequences.
After I had stayed up til 3am the night before finishing the assignments for his class, skipping lunch to do work, and only getting 4 hours of sleep after a long stressful weekend, I was about to break down. Literally holding back tears of frustration all afternoon, until I let loose once I got blood stains on the wood project I had been sanding and perfecting for three hours straight that day. It was really embarrassing, and I wish the work-study hadn’t walked past me in the hallway while i was having a meltdown.
After many mishaps that day, I got through Monday. I restlessly slept through the night, and Tuesday came around. Checked my email:The Darkroom is Re-opened.Thank. God. That was such a relief. I can do my prints when I have time, and I don’t have to worry about trying to frantically match up my schedule with work-study, and trying to prioritize my projects. I went along my day, and did all that I could to my wood project, at the very least sanding off the blood stain from my massive nosebleed the day before. I finally put a coat of finish on at the end of class, and went to go do my painting homework and realized I had already done an extra painting that I can use (hopefully) for this assignment. Four hours of work, done. All in a moment of realization.
It’s funny how I can spend so much time stressing out and worrying about things I have to get done. I act as if God doesn’t already know what I’m going through, then he has a funny way of orchestrating everything in my life to work out whenever I am in doubt, and losing confidence, and losing hope. Thankfully, I’m always proven wrong. I remember Jason Cooper talking at Summer Camp last year, telling us that the situations we’re fighting is a fixed fight. We get beaten down multiple times, yet at the end of the day, we win. We’re all caught up in our lives, thinking that we’re struggling, but we completely ignore the fact that behind the scenes, everything has already been sorted out. There is nothing more comforting.
I’ve put my last coat of finish on my project, and I’m getting ready to leave and set up for the student art gallery this afternoon. I’m all done with classes for the day, and the opening night for the gallery is tomorrow. Life is coming together again. I’m excited.